MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

This has become a family tradition over the past four Christmas seasons, so here is our Elf Yourself Christmas Card!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! I love you very much!
With Love,
Suz

It's been a while...

Hello bloggy world. It's been a while. I am sorry. I have been blogging over on my photo blog, but just not here. What to say? What do you want to hear? Should I leave you with a recipe? No. Should I tell a joke? No. What do I say? How about a list... yes. I think a list will do.

What's on my  mind...

I hate it when Z gets sick from other people's children who have been brought out in to public/to school/to church when they are sick... honestly people, are you really that inconsiderate and selfish? Is your life the only life that might be inconvenienced if your child is sick? Does no one else need to go to class or to their jobs, that they don't mind that their child is sick? I mean, If you can't go to class because your child is sick, then you can't go to class. Get over it. You are responsible for taking care of your child. When my son is sick, I don't take him to school, which means, GUESS WHAT! I stay home with him and take care of him and don't give what he has to any other children! It's called consideration. Why don't you try it? Not only did Z catch croup, but now I am sick as well. Boo.


I don't care what anyone says, "Caillou" is not the new Charlie Brown. That is ridiculous.


I have been very blessed lately (especially). It means so much to me that my prayers are being answered and my Heavenly Father is so mindful of my family and our needs.


I believe in doing good to others. Karma aside, it is important to be kind and good and compassionate.


Apple Cider Vinegar is awesome.

That is all.

With Love,
Suz

LDS Charities

Jack Johnson and a little Camera Phone Lovin'

I know that in the song, "Better Together" that the lyric is "SEPIA TONE LOVIN'" but since I didn't have my camera, and all I had was my cell phone, I changed the lyric to suit myself. :)

My anniversary was back in May, as you may remember, and for my anniversary, husband gave me two tickets to Jack Johnson, whom I've loved for years and years. I was so stoked when the concert came around... but then, we couldn't find anyone to watch Z. What was I going to do? Would I have to sell my tickets and miss the show I'd been looking forward to forever and ever?

In steps my good friend Olivia, and her amazing willingness to watch Z for me... She is such SUCH a good friend. For those of you out there who don't know her... I'm so sad for you. Truly. Read her blog, and you'll find out in an instant how rad she is.

Anyway, I felt really bad, because we would have to be gone for a while, and that is a LOT to ask someone... She was willing to do it for FREE too! Just because she is super cool.

But, Husband's mother, (should I just call her "Mom?") decided that this concert would be a good reason to come up for a visit, and so she drove all the way up from Vegas just to help me out. She wanted us to have a good time and not feel rushed to get back because we needed to relieve a sitter... It's a good thing too, because we didn't get home until about 1AM... I would have felt TERRIBLE if I had done that to Olivia... Anyway, so I called Olivia and let her know that Mom was coming up and that though I appreciated her amazingness, that Z would be able to stay with Grandma. She was so sweet, and even said to me, "Anytime you need me, you just let me know!" Talk about a good friend!

So, the traffic sucked going up, but once we got there, I was so excited.

G Love followed ALO, and was pretty dang good. Then, once it was dark, Jack came out, and was PHENOMENAL! I can't believe what a gracious person he is. He played for an hour and a half and then came out for an encore and did 4 more songs. Throughout the whole show he was talking to the children near the stage, and reading people's signs and thanking everyone. He was so grateful that we had come to see him. So awesome.

Husband bought me a shirt, and I didn't know it until I got home, that 100% of the profits from any garment purchased, as well as 100% of profits from the ENTIRE TOUR are going to charity. CHARITY!!! So awesome.

I got to dance with my sweetie to Banana Pancakes and Angel and Better Together, as well as so many other songs that I adore. It was such a good night. Here are some photos to prove how amazing my night was... Yes, here is the Camera Phone Lovin'!

 I absolutely retouched my face in photoshop. Thank you for asking. :)

As you can see, I'm slightly obsessed with Lens Flare... I LOVE IT!

Hope you all had as amazing of a weekend as I did.

With Love,
Suz

A little something I made in CS3

I think this will be my new motto! I thought it up myself, but who knows if someone else didn't think of it first.

What do you think? ha ha.

With Love,
Suz

Something new...

I have started my own Gluten Free cooking site for my recipes. It's no big deal, but you can check it out. I've added a new recipe, and uploaded some of my old ones from here.

The Messy Gluten Free Cook

A word to the wise...

Sometimes you might be tempted to try something you know you shouldn't...

But just know that no matter how good that something may seem, it will leave you unhappy, filled with self loathing, bloated, and probably constipated...

I hate you gluten. I really, really hate you.

With Love,
Suz

Dr. Steve Brule "FOR YOUR HEALTH!"

I have recently discovered Dr. Steve Brule (the great John C. Reilly) and I love the man! If you want to get a taste of my humor, "CHECK IT OUT!"  Or you can check him out on Adultswim.com

So, in tribute to this awesome dude, I swiped a still shot of him from photobucket, and put my own tag line on it...

This is for the days when I ask myself why I can't eat pizza or other gluten filled deliciousness... because some days it's hard for me.

(He has never said that, but I bet it is something he would say... mispronounced words and all).

See, the other night I was tossing the idea around of starting a food blog, to occupy my mind and energy until I get some more clients for my photo business, and I thought, it would be so funny if Brules Rules did a segment on Gluten and Celiac, because I'm sure it would be hysterical listening to him try to pronounce all the lingo associated with it. So, I came up with this little thing, and you may not think it is funny, but please know that I had a really good laugh thinking of what he would say to me. (I know... I'm ridiculous).

"FOR YOUR HEALTH!"

With Love,
Suz

What happens when People get bored at our house...

I am a brunette. I have a nice medium brown color, but every once in a while I think about doing something DRASTIC... Well, when you mix that feeling with boredom, this is what you get...

It starts out innocent enough...

And I end up with red hair...

Husband came home and saw me in process, and said something along the lines of, "Let's do something crazy to my hair." So, this is what we did...

I had some FIRE ENGINE RED hair color in the closet... don't ask, I just did. ha. So, I pulled out my developer and mixed it up...

(The above picture is Husband in process)...

 (He likes to maintain anonymity).

And the end result is pretty crazy if I do say so myself...
It's always a party over here! ha ha.

With Love,
Suz

Mommy and Son day date

I took little lamb to go see HOW TO TRAIN A DRAGON and then to Costco for a Hot dog... We had lots of fun. 

Here we are after the movie... Look at that face! He is so beautiful.
Here's another one in case you couldn't tell from the last picture...

He loves Costco Dogs and "Medowade." (Lemonade)

The movie was great, and so was the company. Love that little one oodles.

With Love,
Suz

I have found some new blogs...

I LOVE finding new blogs. Especially if they are devoted to being gluten free. It just makes me so happy to know that there are others out there who make my life so much easier with their wonderful ideas and beautiful dishes that are delicious and inspiring. I also love to read the stories of the people behind the blogs...

Here are a few new favorites.

Simply Sugar and Gluten Free (Seriously her life story is mine for the most part)
She Let Them Eat Cake (This lady rocks!)
Adventures of a Gluten Free Mom (Her stuff is SO beautiful)
Living Free (This is wonderful because she cooks without Dairy, Gluten or Sugar!)
Gluten Free Easily (Just browsed her site, and things are looking pretty good!)
Gluten Free Gidget (Super yummy stuff here!)
Cook it Allergy Free! (Some yummy recipes and good info on her site)
The Spunky Coconut (She's Casein/Gluten/Sugar free and also has some RAW recipes too!)
Z's Cup of Tea (Grain/Gluten/Dairy/Sugar Free!)
The Whole Life Nutrition Kitchen (She won me over with her Avocado Fudge-scicles)
Celiac Teen (How awesome is this girl? She's 17 and a whiz in the GF kitchen!)

And of course here are some old standby's that I still lurve.

The Gluten Free Goddess (AKA Karina's Kitchen... she is amazing)
Elana's Pantry (She cooks amazing things)
Ginger Lemon Girl (Awesome)
Gluten Free Mommy (She is so cool for so many reasons)


Today marks day one of being SUGAR FREE as well as GLUTEN FREE. I will be slowly but surely cutting out my DAIRY as well. So, blogs that address all THREE to me, are AMAZING.

With Love,
Suz

SCULPTURE or WATERCOLOR?

You tell me... Should I take sculpture or watercolor in the Fall? They are both offered at the same time, and I'm on the waitlist for both. I have a pretty good chance of getting in to both of them, so I wonder what you think.

Should I show up on the first day of school to the sculpture class or the watercolor class?

With Love,
Suz

I'm back... with a recipe!

I know I've been a real slacker lately. I promise it isn't because I hate blogging... in fact, it's just because I haven't really known what to write about. I've had a bad case of bloggers block.

Tonight, I made Ez and myself some nummy dinner. I'll tell you all about it.

I made it up on the fly, trying to think of something Mediterranean/Italian but that was Gluten Free (of course) and light... I didn't want anything too heavy. Summertime is not for super heavy saucy dishes in my mind.

So, I looked at what ingredients I had on hand.

Canned tomatoes and black olives, white rice (I would recommend brown rice, but I didn't have the time to cook rice for 80 minutes) fresh baby spinach, minced garlic, onion powder, fresh whole white mushrooms (the biggest I've ever seen!) olive oil, and dried basil... what to make?

So, I decided on a rice goulash of sorts. I call it...

SPINACH & STUFF RICE...
(I'm not too creative I guess! ha ha) 
And it looks a little something like this:

 
I started out making the plain rice... I usually have it on hand already made so that I can cut my cooking time down exponentially. As I said, I prefer brown rice, but decided on the quick route today with white rice.

Then, I got out a large bowl, and my other ingredients. 

1 1/2 - 2 cups CUT FRESH BABY SPINACH (I love the big bag of it at Costco)
1 Can of CANNED DICED TOMATOES (with the juice)
1 can of CANNED LARGE BLACK OLIVES
1-2 cups of FRESH WHOLE (EXTRA LARGE) WHITE MUSHROOMS


Take the baby spinach, and cut it... I guess you could use a food processor, but I wanted mine a little larger pieces so I used my kitchen scissors. (It made about 1 1/2-2 cups of spinach) then put it in the bowl.

Then I took the canned diced tomatoes and added the tomatoes and the juice to the spinach in the bowl. 


Then I put the large black olives in to my Vita Mix 5200 and chopped them finely (this was more for my toddler's benefit... if veg is too big, he usually turns up his nose so I have to hide it).  I then added the finely chopped olives to the bowl. 

I then chopped up the mushrooms in to 1/4- 1/2 inch square pieces... just diced them, I didn't bother measuring them with a ruler or anything... then I added them to the bowl too. 


I mixed everything together and then let the bowl sit for a little while as I prepared the stove top. For this you'll need:


2 tablespoons Olive Oil
1- 1 1/2 teaspoons minced garlic
1/2 teaspoon (or more depending on your tastes) dried BASIL
A few shakes of onion powder (again, make it taste good to you)
About a 1/4 teaspoon of salt... (add however much you want, I don't like things salty, because I like to taste the freshness of my food)


I added 2 Tablespoons of Olive oil to the pan and set the temp to med-high and added 1 teaspoon of minced garlic (I might have added a little bit more, since I love garlic so much... but just add it to your taste preference). I continually stirred the garlic and oil so that the garlic wouldn't burn. STIR STIR STIR. 


Add the basil and the onion powder. Continue to stir for about 2 minutes. Once you feel the garlic is cooked enough so as not to be too pungent, add the bowl of ingredients to the pan. 


Stir it all together and saute for about 3 minutes... just enough to cook the mushrooms a little bit but not long enough to give yourself soggy spinach. (You be the judge) 


Add your salt, and stir some more, then add your rice (about 2 cups worth of cooked rice) and stir it all together and set it aside. 


This should feed about 3 or 4 people. 


I think if you wanted to, you could add some bacon or chicken to it and it would be delicious! 

 Yummy in the tummy! It has Ez's stamp of approval... which is saying a lot!

With Love,
Suz

Today...

Today I feel sick for some reason... The last time I felt this way was when I found out about Daisy. It freaks me out when I feel like this. I'm just a bundle of stress right now and the worst part is I don't know why, and I'm afraid I'm going to find out...

But, Ez comes home in two days, and I can't wait! I miss that kid so much! I feel like it's been SO LONG since I've seen his cute face! I got to talk to him last night, which was awesome, and we sang songs together and I listened as he told me about his day and what he was doing right then. He'd show me the moon and the Christmas lights (It's Vegas-everything looks like Christmas lights there). I "ooh"ed and "aahh"ed with him, and it made my night to hear his voice. I miss him like crazy.

Meanwhile, I've been up to something while he's been gone. I've been rearranging his room and cleaning and we have some new additions to his Thomas collection that I think he'll like. I'll be sure to post pictures when it's all done.

Anyway...

With Love,
Suz

I've been having a hard time...

I have been having a really hard time thinking of things to "blog" about... My life... is it really that interesting? So, I stopped for a while. I am still not entirely sure I have anything worthwhile to write about, but I'll have a go I guess.

In the last little while as I have seemed silent, I have gone to the library with my little one so that he could meet Clifford the Big Red Dog.

These photos are from my phone, so they aren't great, but he had an awesome time because he LOVES Clifford.

I've had quite a few photo shoots, and we had family in town a few weekends, we celebrated our 8th anniversary as well as Mother's Day, and played at the park quite a bit.

Husband was stoked to find out I got him tickets to U2, and he got me tickets to Jack Johnson, and our enthusiasm quickly turned to disappointment when we heard that the U2 concert tour has been postponed... But, it's all fine and dandy, because we are holding on to our tickets.

Little man also left for Vegas to go visit family down there. Originally it was supposed to be for just a few nights to allow us to go to U2, and have a few days and nights to ourselves, but then it turned in to a week, when Grandma asked if she could keep him for a week, and then it turned in to two weeks when Auntie Leesie called and said they would be coming up to visit the next weekend anyway, so she would just keep him another week and bring him back when they drove up... So we've been without little man for a week now, and this week will be the last week without him.

We are planning to do some fun things this week that would normally be challenging with Ez, and I'm really excited to have him home.

Before he left, we all went as a family to go see Thomas for the day. It was pretty awesome. Ez was super happy about the whole experience.

All in all, we have had a great last month.

With Love,
Suz

A Gripe or Two

I have a spider bite on my arm, and it hurts, and I'm feeling a little sick.

I have seen Clifford's Really Big Movie so many times.

I feel all sorts of anxiety right now, and a general sense of unease. I have no idea why, but it freaks me out when I feel like this... like something awful is going to happen.

The other day I went to the yucky store... a.k.a. Walmart, and there were TWO police cars parked in the NO PARKING ZONE in front of the store when I went in. One was a local University Police car, and the other was a city police car. There are special parking spots for the city police cars at our Walmart, so I found this a little annoying. As I was going in, I see two police officers coming out with a shopping cart. They were from the University police... So, they were doing their shopping and parking illegally at the same time. Very nice. You know, I can't just park wherever the hell I want to because I don't want to park out in BFE to go in to an overcrowded store that I hate. It infuriates me when people abuse "privileges." Like, when you see police cars speeding without lights or sirens on town roads, and when they get to a stoplight that they don't want to stop at, they turn their lights on to go through it and make people move out of their way. Once they are through the light, they turn off the lights and continue on their way to their "emergency" dinner at Applebee's two towns over. (On TAXPAYER DOLLARS mind you... that gas isn't free).

Sorry I ranted for a minute.

Just a few things on my mind.

With Love,
Suz

8 YEARS!

So, 8 years ago, the man I love married me. Looking back, it's hard to believe we had no idea what to expect over the course of the next few years. The joys and the heartache that were coming. The ups and the downs and the tears and the laughter. The frustration and anger, and the sweet relief that only love brings.

Through fights and dealing with death. Through laughing and playing. Through infertility and adoption talks. Through moving again and again to follow our own path that was being lain out for us. To finding answers to our heartbreak, to getting a positive pregnancy test, to dealing with the aches and pains of the last trimester, to finally holding that baby in our arms and smiling through tears. Through dirty diapers and long, sleepless nights. Through changes in majors, and putting schooling on hold to enjoy those first few months of him. Through turning our lives upside down with new plans. To now, where we don't really know what the future holds... I wouldn't and couldn't have picked a better partner in this wacky thing we call life.

My husband constantly supports me and lifts me up. When I said I wanted to pursue photography again, he was the first person to say, "I know you can do it." He was also the first one to say, "Maybe you can support me for a while," with a great big laugh from both of us.

He doesn't think my ideas are crazy, and if he does, he doesn't say.

He is my best friend, and the love of my life. I can't wait to spend another 8 years, and another 8 years, and an infinite amount more with him. He is one amazing man, and I am blessed to have him.

We gave each other our gifts, and I think he was pretty stoked about the U2 tickets I got him, just as I was happy about the Jack Johnson tickets he got me... though I must admit I am SLIGHTLY(?) more stoked to go see U2... Anyway, we are going to have a fun filled summer starting in June when we get to go see a band we've both loved for years rock the Rice-Eccles stadium!

Here we are 4 years ago back in 2006 when we went to see Cyndi Lauper in Vegas.

I still love him to pieces. He is my soul mate. Truly. MADLY. Deeply. (Yes, I just totally quoted a Savage Garden song... as if 8 years of marriage didn't date me already!)

With Love,
Suz

Feeling sad...

This morning, I woke up to breakfast from my sweetheart and my little one. But, for some reason, I woke up with a feeling of dread. Now, some of you may know what I'm talking about... others may not. Do you know that feeling that you can't shake, like something bad is going to happen? You just can't figure out why you are so sad or scared, until... you find out why.

8 years ago, when Husband and I got married, we found a sweet yellow lab puppy. She was so full of life and was so beautiful. We named her Daisy. We took her everywhere, and we loved her so much. She was even the theme of a college essay that I wrote about someone I cared about, much to the amusement of my college professor, who loved the paper, and at the end, wrote in the margin, "I think you're ready for children." Little did he know that Daisy would be our only child for a while yet.

She was happy, and so sweet. Always giving kisses and big bear hugs. She loved to hug. She couldn't stand to be left out of hugs. She would often jump up on her hind legs and wrap her front legs around you. She loved everyone, and had a beautiful spirit.

When we moved to Las Vegas, we couldn't take her with us, and I was devastated. But, I knew that she would have a good home, where she would be very loved with my mom. So, she moved across two states to end up in Colorado. She has been there since 2005 when we sadly had to leave her in a new home and go off on our own adventure where dogs weren't allowed-much to our heartbreak.

We visited Colorado, and I thought she would have forgotten us. But, she remembered right away and immediately looked around to make sure both Bryan and I were in fact there. She stayed by our sides throughout the visits, and loved us and made up for all the lost kisses over the year we had been gone.

I remember once I was sick with a migraine for a week, back in 2003, and Daisy was my constant companion throughout that week. She followed me everywhere, even when I was huddled in a ball over the toilet bowl barfing my guts out. I actually remember her putting a paw on my back, as if to say, "It's okay, I'm here," and then giving me a kiss on the nose when I turned to her with tears in my eyes and said "thank you, Daisy. You're a good friend." She would lie down next to me, and didn't leave my side when I was sick. She was the perfect friend. It broke my heart to say goodbye to her when we had to leave.

Today, I called my mom to wish her a Happy Mothers Day, and she answered in tears. I knew something was wrong, and I waited to find out why I had been so sad all day. "Daisy hemorrhaged," she said. "What?" I asked. "Daisy...(sobbing) she.. she's gone." I started bawling. My baby. My first baby, was dead.

Something happened, we don't know what, but she started bleeding on the inside, and she came in to say goodbye and get a drink of water, and quietly left the house, leaving a trail of blood on her way out, and lay down in the bushes and died. My mom found her after she was gone.

I don't know what happened. She could have ate something that hurt her, or something inside could have ruptured, but she died in a way that makes me so sad. I couldn't be there for her in her hour of need, to ever repay her for how she took care of me all the times when I was sick. She died alone, and probably in a lot of pain. But, she didn't want to be a bother, and so she walked quietly over to a hidden place and passed away.

My heart is broken. I am so completely an emotional wreck right now. She was still so young and vibrant. I don't know what happened, and it just makes me sick to think of her all alone. I mean, I don't blame my mom... Daisy didn't make a fuss, there's no way she could have known something happened. It just makes me so sad that she is gone, and that she probably suffered a lot of pain.

So, today my sweet doggie died, and I am very, very sad. I loved her so much, and I only wish I could have pet her one last time, or just been there for her, so she knew how much I loved her.

Happy Mothers Day, everyone. Even if you are Mother to only Dogs and Cats, you are still a mommy to me. Pets truly become family. I know all of mine have.

To Daisy! A boon companion!

May your day bring you much better news than mine.

With Love,
Suz

Pretty soon...

Pretty soon, (May 10th to be exact) I will have been married 8 years. It seems unreal. I am so happy to have the man in my life that I do. He is a wonderful husband and father. I can't go on enough about him. Eventhough there are times when I get flustered and frustrated with him, I wouldn't change him. He is amazing in every way. Usually when I get frustrated it's my own fault anyway.

Well, I'm just so excited for our anniversary this year, because I have gone ABOVE AND BEYOND this year. I am SO excited to give him the present I got! I cannot wait for Tuesday! I am not going to say just now, just in case, but I will tell you this much, I will post it as soon as I give it to him!

Anyway, just wanted to share my excitement!

With Love,
Suz

FOREVER 3 = The best start to my day!

         A few months ago, I was taking a creative writing class with my friends Olivia and Debbie, and Olivia and I went to the final showcase of all the classes that they were having of the community education program.

At the showcase, there was a woman who performed a song she wrote for the songwriting class that, quite honestly was one of the sweetest songs I have ever heard. It brought both Olivia and I to tears while she was singing it.

I approached her after the showcase ended, and asked if she would mind sending the lyrics to me in an email, and so we exchanged emails and I was so excited to get a copy of the lyrics... well, I lost her email address because of my organizational skills (or lack thereof) and thought after I hadn't heard from her for months that she had forgotten me and that I would never again hear the song.

Last night, I was thinking about it randomly and was feeling pretty disappointed about it, and then woke up this morning to an email in my inbox from her! In it, I found a link to her video on YouTube, and she told me that she had recorded the song and her brother in law had made the video.

This made my day! I am so happy to finally have this song whenever I want to listen to it! I think it is so beautiful, and absolutely fitting for mothers of little ones.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

With Love,
Suz

A few things.

I have a few things on my mind.

1. I hate, HATE when movies are portrayed one way, so you go in to it with certain expectations, and then you are let down tremendously. For example, Defendor and the Informant! were both portrayed in the trailers as COMEDIES... however, Defendor was actually quite sad-not funny at all, and the Informant! went nowhere and I don't think Husband or I laughed once. Very disappointing.

2. I really dislike movies about Demons or demonic things, as well as evil people... like rapists, serial killers, you know, people doing awful disgusting things to other people... especially children. WHY IS THIS ENTERTAINMENT???

3. I think it's really sad and terrifying how trusting people are here. They don't watch where their children are, they let them roam everywhere, and often just trust someone else has the same morals and values as them, and that their children will be alright. It scares me, honestly. I don't like it.

4. I think every woman needs to learn self defense... REAL self defense. I was watching Ruby the other day, and she went to an MMA fighter to learn self defense. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! I want to learn to defend myself. Anyone else out there want to go with me? Or know of a good place that's not just some dude in a lot of padding that attacks you from obvious angles?

5. I want a gun. I mean, I want to be safe. But I'm seriously considering getting my concealed permit. I know, who would have ever thought I would want that?

6. I have a strong desire to learn just about everything. I have this thirst for knowledge. I want to know more than one language fluently, and I want to know things like how the economy really works, and how to fix my car.

7. I want to succeed in what I set my mind to. I want to help support my family, without compromising staying home with my little one.

8. Husband and I talk about the what if's a lot. Last night I asked him "What if we can't have any more children?" And do you know what he said? "There are plenty of children in the world who need a good home. I think we could adopt a child and be just as happy as if he were our own." I almost cried. He is so wonderful.

9. Why is it that so many people can't look past one thing and see the good in people? There is good everywhere you look, but sometimes you have to look harder than other times. But it's still there.

10. I wish forgiveness was easier. It breaks my heart to see people carrying around grudges and anger, when it feels so good to let it go.

11. Today Ez climbed out of his playpen after his nap was over at PaPa's house. He is fearless.

12. I love it so much when Ez wants to cuddle with me. I feel bad when Husband wants to hug him, but he wiggles free and asks for me. But, I secretly like it too. I miss when he was so tiny and he would fall asleep on my chest and lie there for hours and hours. In fact, those wee hours of the morning when he would wake in the middle of the night were my favorite, because it was just him and me while everyone else was sleeping, and I could sing to him, and we would have a very special little moment. There is something so amazing about your baby lying on your chest. I feel safe, and I feel so loved. It's amazing, and I have to admit, I miss it.

13. Ez is hilarious. He makes me laugh daily. Even when he's shouting and not getting his way, he is still the most beautiful, amazing person I have ever known in my life.

14. My PaPa was my best friend. He was also the only father I had ever known. So, when he died, I lost three people: My grandfather, my father and my best friend. It was excruciating to say good bye, and I honestly think about him every day. It's been 5 years, and though the pain isn't as severe, when I do think about him, it comes flooding back and the ache is so strong. When I see my son sitting in his Great Papa's chair, I cry thinking that I never got to witness two such wonderful and special people in my life interact. My Papa would have loved my little one, and my little one would have loved his Great Papa. But, it comforts me to think they spent time together before Ez came to this world. They are good friends. I just know it. Maybe it's a silly thought, but it comforts me. I am crying right now as I type. I seriously miss him so much. Is it weird that I still have his old phone number in my cell phone? I still go to call him sometimes. I need to stop.

15. My husband remains my rock in this life. He is so amazing. He supports me...every crazy idea I have, he supports me.

16. Heavenly Father loves me. He loves you. He cares for us and our welfare, even when at times we don't think He does. He wants us to be happy, but also knows that the hard times are necessary for our growth. Rely on the Savior and His ability to heal you. Rely on His strength when you feel weak. Rely on Him when you feel strong too, and when the hard times come, they will seem easier. They don't go away, but they do seem easier. Everything is possible with the help of God and His son.

17. Even though there are times when I feel so low, I know... I'm fully aware of how blessed I am. I live in the United States, where I have so many freedoms that I take for granted. I have the gospel of Jesus Christ to answer a lot of the questions that I have about what this life means and where I am going after this life is over. I have a very loving family and family-in-law. I have a son who is healthy, smart, loving, kind, caring, and beautiful. I have a husband who finds me attractive, and loves me unconditionally. He treats me so well. So many women don't have that. I am so blessed to have that. My heart is just so full.

18. I have wonderful friends. I can't say enough about how much I love my friends. They make me pretty happy.

19. I really want to recycle. I hate liter. I really don't like it when I see people litter. It bothers me a lot.

20. I really want to take a road trip. I want to go back to Chico. I miss it a lot.

21. I love Reed's Extra Ginger Beer. It is amazing.

22. I kind of hate facebook for the most part.

23. I love being able to take photographs. I think photography is so beautiful. I respect those who put things out in to the world that is truly art. I love that you can capture a moment and prove to others that the world is beautiful and good.

24. I want to do good in this world. I want to help others. I want to contribute something of worth in this world. When I was in high school I wanted to join the peace corps. I moved to Utah instead. ha ha.

25. It makes me really sad when I lose contact with people who I was close to at one point. When friends grow apart or just decide they don't need me in their lives anymore... makes me so sad and confused. I have a hard time letting go. I don't like the thought that people don't like me. I know you can't please everyone, but it still makes me so sad to know that I'm not liked.

26. I love my mother. She is so generous and good. She means well and loves me so much. I love seeing her with Ez. They bring each other so much happiness. It's beautiful to see.

27. I am really glad that I found my father. I felt I needed to find him, and, well that's a different story entirely, but I just am so grateful to finally have him in my life. He is trying so hard to make up for all the lost time. 28 years without him, and now I feel that hole is filled. Finally. It wasn't that everyone else wasn't enough, but I think that everyone feels the need and the want to know where they come from. I am lucky that he wanted to be in my life. He embraced it. I am so grateful. I was so scared he wouldn't.

28. I am so grateful that I was able to find the answers to Ez's health problems. I was so scared. We tried so long to have him, and to watch him lose weight and become so sick, without seemingly anything really causing it, was terrifying. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for leading me in the directions to find the answers to my questions. I'm also thankful that I was able to listen well enough to follow. Now I have a healthy, vibrant, thriving child who is one of the loves of my life.

29. I want to be done with school... not like, never want to learn again, but I want us to be done with the required stuff so we can figure out where we are going to live and what we are going to do, and just do it. I am tired of living in rental apartments and dealing with the stress of the where's and when's. I just want it to be over!

30. I worry about everything. I am a bit of a hypochondriac, and worry constantly that something is seriously wrong with me... I worry about dying... not so much of what will happen to me, but what will happen to my family. I don't want us to be a part. I worry what will happen if I died. Husband would have a very hard time. Ez... well, I don't even want to think about it. It scares me. I love my little family and our little life. Even when it is hard and it feels downright sucky, my life is good, and I am so happy.

That was a lot. I had a lot on my mind. Husband often finds it fascinating that I can have so much in my brain at once... yeah, I'm a little crazy.

Goodnight friends.

With Love,
Suz

Glitter Toes

My friend Heather posted about her glitter toes over on her blog. You can check it out here. Her sister in law Amy, who I can vouch for as a fabulous person is only charging $15 for glitter toes! That is so inexpensive, and totally worth it!

Since I used to be a manicurist... did you know that, lovelies? Yes I did. It's one of the many hats I have worn throughout my life. Anyway...

Since I used to be a professional, and spent over $400 on my very own UV lamp and gel set, I decided to give it a try... I think I should go to Amy.  ha ha. It has been a LONG LONG time since I have done nails, and as you can see, though these nails will do for now, I should have called in the practicing professional.

CALL AMY AT 801-369-5511. I have personally seen her work, and can tell you it looks fantastic! 


Seriously, call her if you are in the area. 

With Love, 
Suz

I heart Photoshop

I just wanted to take a minute and show you a few before and after images. I love photoshop!

I must admit that the before pictures are not that bad. The colors are just more muted than I would like, but I love the end result. All I did was turn up the warmth slightly and add a little vibrance. Very, very little was needed, but as you can see, it made a world of difference!

I just wanted to do a post about how much I love photoshop!

With Love,
Suz

A New Rug

I was recently looking at Color Me Katie and saw that she bought a new rug. It is green, it looks like grass, and I want it too!

There are so many days, in the winter especially, that I crave green grass. There is something very magical about feeling the earth with bare feet. I love to run and walk and stand on grass in bare feet. There is something so beautiful about it.

Well, I know that a rug isn't going to do that for me, but aesthetically it will help combat those winter blues that I get. I would love this rug so much!

I found it at IKEA. Here is a link to it... The magic green grass rug I want.  What do you guys think? Is it worth the price to have a little bit of "nature" inside?

With Love,
Suz

Just found this song...

I thought this video was really fun. I love the song!Hope it brightens your day like it did mine!

With Love,
Suz

I know I'm not the only one...

I know I am not the only person around that is grateful for beautiful, wonderful, loving, caring friends. I am so thankful I have them in my life.

I was raised an only child, and so I didn't have brothers and sisters growing up. I kind of adopted other people as my "siblings." Perhaps that is why it affects me so much when we "grow apart."

Anyway, in the last few days, I have felt overwhelming love from my friends, and I have to say that I just feel so blessed to have good people in my life who care about me and are willing to overlook how ridiculous I can be, and still be there for me! Wow. I am just so so so thankful.

Now, I love my family too. Do not get me wrong. But this post is about my friends.

Have you ever heard, "Friends are the family you get to choose?" ha ha. I always thought that was really funny, but it's so fitting. Some of my closest friends I consider family.

So, thank you friends, for being there for me. For calling when I need it, or texting, or instant messaging or facebooking, or whatever it is we do... For forgiving me when I have a lapse in control and mental function... For making me laugh and cry... For sharing your joys and your sorrows... For lending me books and knowing what's good for me... For going to the park in the afternoons... For giving my photography shout outs on Facebook... For giving me advice, and taking mine. ha ha. For loving me unconditionally and understanding that I am human, and I suck sometimes. I love you I love you I love you!

With Love,
Suz

Pretty much the funnest thing ever!

That's right, I said "funnest."

We decided to go bowling at Fat Cats today... well, we really decided to use our two for one coupon at Costa Vida, and then, because Ez is so in to bowling these days, we agreed to let him play one game. I was amazed at how expensive it was for one person to play a game... $5! But he did get these cute little size 6 bowling shoes, and had the time of his life.

Here are some pictures from the game... Oh, and I'm going to apologize before you see them, because I didn't have my camera with me, so these are from my phone.

Please enjoy.

Yup, he bowled a 56. He's awesome.

I got some videos too, but for some reason I can't upload them. But you get the idea. Every time the ball hit the pins he would jump up and down and scream, "YAY YAY YAY!! BOWLING BALL!" So funny.

With Love,
Suz