Tuesday, November 10, 2009

To ALL THE SINGLE LADIES

I think often, we as women don't give ourselves enough credit.

We are loving, caring, funny, compassionate individuals who seek to find the good in others. Women are special people, with amazing abilities to do good in this world. No matter what shape or size we are, we all have one thing in common: Our big hearts, and our need for love and affection.

We want approval, some of us need it. We want acceptance, and some of us will do anything to get it. But, most of all we need love, and sometimes, sadly, we forget who we are to attain it.

When we change how we act, even what we look like, to gain approval, acceptance and love, are we really gaining anything? If we forget who we are in all the efforts expended to get our needs met, do we often lose ourselves in the mix? Who then, are these people approving of? Who are they accepting? Who are they loving? It isn't us. We are not the ones who gain anything. In fact, we lose much more than what we gain. We lose ourselves, and our values, and in the end, we remain unhappy.

Why do we let down our guards for people who don't respect us? Why do we allow ourselves to be put in to situations where we have to make that difficult choice of remaining firm in our convictions, or throwing our values, morals and ethics out the window?

We don't have to change who we are to be loved. We don't have to be someone else, or hold someone else's values higher than our own. We are lovable. We are worthy of love just the way we are. We deserve to be cared for by someone who will not tear us down. We shouldn't have to compromise anything to feel accepted and worthy of affection.

We may feel as though we have gained something, but it is only temporary. As I said, in the end, we still must come to terms with the fact that we have either lost our morals, our values, or ourselves. In the end, the sadness is still there. The need is still there to be filled. We can't be happy with anyone, because we aren't happy with ourselves. If we continue down paths that lead us away from the solution, we will be consumed by our problems and our fears.

We can't turn our backs on our own happiness. We can't turn away from the face in the mirror. We cannot allow ourselves to become empty shells. We have hearts, we have a light inside of us that we mustn't let dim. If we can hold on to the light within us, it will only shine brighter when we share it.

We are women. We need to respect ourselves and not allow the world to decide for us what will make us happy. We cannot accept mediocrity for ourselves. We cannot accept a life of sadness and emptiness, because after we let go of everything, that is what we have left: sadness and emptiness.

We deserve to be loved and cared for. We deserve to be happy. We deserve, and are entitled to, love and acceptance AS WE ARE. NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

If he doesn't accept us, with all the extras, HE doesn't deserve US.

Did you hear me? HE doesn't deserve US. Not the other way around.

Women are strong, beautiful, courageous beings, and we need have more respect for ourselves, because until we do, they won't have any respect for us.

I am blessed enough to have found a man who respects me. With all my faults, all of my past, he loves me. He more than loves me, he cherishes me.

From someone who thought she would never find that, I say to all of you, hang on. It wasn't until I gripped my values and morals with an iron fist that I found someone who would truly love and respect me.

Respect yourself. Accept yourself. Approve of yourself. LOVE YOURSELF.

You are entitled to someone who will give you everything you need and want without asking for compromises in exchange for it. Don't settle, because it won't make you happy. I promise.