Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Goodbye 2010

Well, I figured that I should start the new year and the new decade with something. I would like to take a moment to reflect on the year that was. Only for a moment, before moving on to the future.

2010 brought new experiences with it. I started a business, with great fear and trepidation. I learned that I am very capable of following my dreams, but that I am riddled with self doubt. I consistently question if I am up to snuff, or whether I should throw in the towel and let someone with more talent and drive take my place. However, I also learned that people like what I do. I learned that I DO have talent, and instead of getting mired down in all the what-if's, I decided to just work hard at improving my art. I learned, and hopefully proved, that having a nice camera isn't the only thing you need to take pictures that are lovely. You need talent too. I am finally starting to believe in myself, which feels amazing. I can't tell you how incredible it felt to start a year with huge amounts of self doubt, and end it feeling very confident in my abilities. Being a hobbyist photographer for the past 13 years was fun, and so I decided to take it to the next level. I have loved photography for a long time, and even won second place at a local state fair in California for a picture I took in high school. But I was always too afraid to try anything for fear of rejection. However, with the encouragement of my beautiful husband, and my wonderful mother, I tried to make my passion in to a business, and I saw tremendous success for my first year. I can't describe how amazing it feels to follow a dream and see it come to fruition.

I grew a little closer to my Heavenly Father too. There were times this year when I got really low, and needed help. He never failed me. Ever.

I was able to help people, which felt amazing. I have never really felt that I could really serve others, because, well, I felt so inadequate. But, this year, I looked for opportunities to serve others, and I was able to. Please don't misunderstand me, I am not tooting my own horn, but expressing gratitude for those who let me serve them, because I feel I gained so much from those experiences. I hope that this year I can do more than I did this last year. Doing good for others feels so good.

I saw my son grow exponentially. After going gluten free, he has grown physically, but I feel it is largely responsible for how healthy he is. He is thriving, and living and breathing and keeping me going most days. I love watching him learn and explore. He is such an amazing little person, and it has been my honor to be his mother. I look forward to another year of amazing moments with him.

I went gluten free... a few times. I learned that my body can't handle certain foods at all. I gained better health by learning to listen to my body. I hope that this next year will keep me on the right path to better total health and well being. I am now totally gluten free, and loving it most days, and hating it others, but either way, sticking to it. :)

I went back to school this last fall. I realized that I can't run faster than I have strength. Putting too much on my plate doesn't make me happy, or a better mother or better wife, or better person. I have learned to pace myself. I realized that I may need to wait until my son is older to go back to actual school. I also learned that right now, what I want to study can wait. I can go out in to the world and have life experience right now. Classrooms are not meant for me at this time in my life. And I also learned that that's okay.

This last year I took a hard look at my attitude and decided I needed a change. Positivity is the key to success in every aspect of life.

We had financial troubles that were unexpected, and we worried that we wouldn't have enough to stay afloat. However, with much heartfelt prayer, and a lot of hard work, I was able to keep our heads above water in the last few months with my "hobby" and that felt incredible.

2010 showed us that maybe the path we were on was the wrong path, and so we have re-evaluated everything, and taken an unexpected turn, which we hope is the right choice for our family.

We saw the thrill of "one more semester!" and then the immense let down that comes with, "two more semesters!"

I got bit by a dog, in the face, and stayed amazingly calm while wiping the blood off of my face.

I cleaned up more barf than I care to ever again, because of a bout with the stomach flu that my son had.

I decided on my birthday in December that 2010 will be the last year of my life that is spent wasting my life being overweight. I am DONE.

2010 brought me some new faces whom I love and will be forever grateful for.

In 2010 my son spent his last Sunday in Nursery, and will now be a Primary member.

I hope that 2011 will bring all the happiness that all of us want. :)

With Love,

1 comment:

Carley, John, Cohen, kennedy said...

I'm right there with you with the weight thing.. I'm done too.. I just need to work on it.. stop making excuses. Good luck.